He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
