i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
