I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
