my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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