Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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