I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
