I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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