So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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