I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
