I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
