she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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