Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
