so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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