white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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