Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
