just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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