Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
