I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
