Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
