i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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