I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
