Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
