I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
