he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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