my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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