Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
