im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm too high and old for this...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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