Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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