i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
