Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
there was a trapeze. enough said
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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