I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
