i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Randomize
