Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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