What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
