Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
