Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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