Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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