why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
