a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
