New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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