I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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