she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
