There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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