She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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