You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
