whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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