3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
