I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
