I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
