So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
