And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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