doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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